Family Violence

When considering what family violence is or whether you are a victim of family violence, it is important to be aware that it is not just physical violence, but can also be verbal, emotional, psychological, sexual and financial abuse.

Victims and perpetrators can be any member of a family, so it is important to be aware that women aren’t always victims and men aren’t always perpetrators, though statistically this is much more prevalent than the reverse. In this same regard, family violence is also just as prevalent in LGBTQ+ relationships, as it is in heterosexual relationships. It can also occur in family relationships which aren’t romantic relationships, such as siblings, parents and children and other extended family members. Often violence perpetrated by a non-romantic family member can lead to the victim being even more isolated, as the family members often take the side of the perpetrator.

Family violence does not only have a direct impact upon the victim, but also impacts upon the entire family unit, including children. Although children may not be directly exposed to family violence and you may try your best to hide it from them, children are known to be incredibly aware of their surroundings including picking up on differences in behaviour of their parents and others around them. We cannot and should not assume that children are none the wiser.  

Considering the various forms of family violence of physical, verbal, emotional, psychological, sexual and financial abuse, there are a variety of particular behaviours to look out for. These include:

o   Yelling in an aggressive way, swearing and name-calling;
o   The use of intimidation and threats;
o   Preventing someone from spending time or communicating with others, in particular friends and family members;
o   Pushing, shoving, striking, punching, hitting, slapping, choking and biting;
o   Physical violence with the use of a weapon or other object; and
o   Engaging in unwanted sexual activity. 
 
There are also a range of other forms of abuse that you may not be aware of that also fall under family violence. These behaviours can include:

o   Preventing someone from practising their religion
o   Harming other family members, including family pets
o   Destroying or damaging someone’s property or personal belongings
o   Exposing or sharing someone’s sexual images or content without consent
o   Stalking or following someone
o   Restricting someone’s access to finances, or ability to work;
o   Tracking someone’s phone calls and messages;
o   Tracking someone’s location, including through mobile phones and similar devices.

Your safety and the safety of your children are most important. However we know that leaving an environment of family violence can be easier said than done. Each person’s experience and personal circumstances around family violence may be completely different to that of another person. To this end, there are a range of support and assistance services out there to accommodate your personal circumstances and to help you leave a violent and abusive environment.
 
If leaving the family home where you or your family are subjected to family violence is too difficult, the Department of Communities & Justice have a program where they work cooperatively with the NSW Police called ‘Staying Home Leaving Violence’. This program aims to remove the perpetrator from the family home and provides further support for the children, assistance in managing your finances, assistance in improving the security around your home and working with you to implement a safety plan that works for you and your family.   

If you had to endure family violence or your children were exposed to family violence, these events are considered when preparing your Court documents and by the Judge when they are making decisions about suitable parenting arrangements for your children. The Family Court and the Federal Circuit Court prioritise your safety and the safety of your children and takes allegations of family violence very seriously throughout the proceedings. 
 
When proceedings are commenced in the Court, any past or present family violence should be disclosed, particularly in matters involving children. The Court will make Orders to ensure your children are safe, such as requiring the perpetrator to undergo treatment programs and courses, requiring the perpetrator’s time with the children to be supervised for a period of time, requiring changeovers to occur in public places, and in some circumstances, preventing the perpetrator from having any communication or contact with the victim and the children.

If seeing your abuser is too difficult or if you fear for your safety whilst attending Court, it is important that you make your solicitor aware of this or notify the Court who can provide you with support through their Family Advocacy and Support Service. This service provides social workers at the Court, free of charge, to support you or your family whilst attending Court. This service also offers a safety plan for you if you fear for your safety whilst attending Court.
 
If you have experienced family violence it is not advisable that you self-represent in family law proceedings, as your perpetrator may use that to their advantage, to try to force you to agree to Orders that you don’t understand, or that could compromise you or your children’s safety. They could also use the system as a way to further their campaign of abuse, control and bullying.